Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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