When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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