dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
