very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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