Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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