i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
