I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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