Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize