I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize