oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
