Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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