i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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