Michael Bay diarrhea
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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