Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
