I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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