well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
