I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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