you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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