do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
