I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't deserve a penis
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
