dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
