after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize