I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
