That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
