if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Found your dick twin last night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
