I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
