You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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