why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
