What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
this boner is exhausting
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
