I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize