just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
