have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
