i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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