i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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