I wannas sexs uuuuu
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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