It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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