i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
