how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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