You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
