so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize