Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
