So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
