I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
