That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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