wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
false alarm, still single
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
