Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
