I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
