Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
