i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
