Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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