guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
