So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
