So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just cropdusted the office
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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