I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
