O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
