She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize