there's paper in my vomit.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
