Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
