if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
