God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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