I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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