community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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