She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
