Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
