we're blogging at a bar
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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