Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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