I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
