Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
