Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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