no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
