So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
How's work?
Spinning.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
