You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
