This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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