I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
