so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
