why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
