I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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